My Week

Last Friday my best friend and I, along with our kiddos, went camping together for the first time. Oh we had a blast! Sarah and I always have fun together, that's just what we do. Can't wait to do it again.

And then on July 27th it was our 7th wedding anniversary. We both forgot until later in the afternoon. He has got to love having a wife that forgets these things!! Altho unfortunately there are other not so good memories that go along in this week and my mind tends to get jumbled. I try my hardest to keep my thoughts on the good times and I am getting better as the time goes on, but for me July 29th sticks out and I have to remember that the 27th is the date to look forward to.

July 29th, 2003. Two days after my first anniversary. I was pregnant. SO excited to be pregnant. I had a miscarriage in March at just over 6 weeks, the circumstances surrounding that pregnancy were not good and it was a horrilbe and confusing time. This time everything was great! Garry and I were excited. I had read and heard so much about how a first miscarriage is very common, I was still scared but hopeful. Then on July 29th, after a small party with good friends at my parents I started spotting. I had a little earlier in the day but nothing that would make me worry. By that nite I knew this baby would not make it. The next day was horrible and will not get into it. A long day at the hospital, dr's telling me that there could be a chance we'd have to wait and see...but I knew. The baby was gone. I was just under 7 weeks. Pregnancy would never be the same for me after that. It's been 6 years since then and it still stings...and now of course it brings my mind back to other sweet angel that I at least got to meet before she flew off to the stars...

Oh and then there's the 23rd. Sheri's birthday is the 23rd, she was my best friend growing up. We don't talk much now but we're still friends and I know I could count on her if there was ever anything that I happened to need. However July 23rd 1996 crushed me, it broke me down inside and I've never been the same since then. I've always had worries, I worry a lot about everything and the people I love, but that nite changed my worry to fear I think. My friend died that day, a good friend. It's funny cuz we didn't hang out outside of work. Every now and then the group of us would get together but not often. He was someone that everyone loved tho. He had a vibe about him and you just KNEW he was a good person, someone that would be willing to help you in anyway you need. Always smiling, always. Always telling me to smile, always.
It crushed everyone who knew him. I miss him dearly, as I know everyone who knew him does too. Some may think it strange that I have a photo of his grave marker. I am a visual person. The only photos I have of Nathan are the ones from the paper when he died. I didn't go to the cemetary often but when I did I would just sit with my hand on his stone. It seems so silly, I'm the kind to need somewhere to go to grieve. I believe you can sit in a quiet spot wherever you want and find that person. Sometimes tho it is nice to go the spot that they rest. I cannot do that, so I have my photo.


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