Friday, May 22, 2009

The Hard Photos

When my daughter died, a piece of me died with her. I was 14 weeks 5 days pregnant when my daughter was born, and I have nothing physical to show she was here. My biggest regret is not sending someone for my camera so I could take pictures of her.

This may sound grotesque or make you cringe. Pictures of your dead baby? What? (and i know how harsh that sounds too, but the world without your child is a harsh and horrible place) Unless you have actually been in this situation you will not understand. And I'm sure even some that have been in this situation don't like the idea, everyone is different, that is what makes the world so wonderful. All I have of my daughter is 2 ultra sounds photos from 9 weeks along, a couple pictures of my pregnant belly. That is it. That is not enough for me. I don't want others to be in that same spot, wishing they had even a few pictures of their precious child before they were gone forever. It's a hard thing to think about at the time which is why I want to do something. I have found a few wonderful organization that have photographers offer their time and expertise to take photo's for people who have lost a child or have a sick child. http://www.acpcg.com/nicu.htm It is incredible.

I am hoping to start something with the local hospitals to some how offer a service like this. It has to be put together in just the right way. The wording will be the hardest part I think. I want people to feel comfortable and know that taking pictures is a good idea, even if you're not sure you want them done you can always gets rid of them-but you will not have another chance to have them taken.

How great it would be for me to offer this to someone. To take those photos and keep them safe for something who is not sure if they want them, store them until that day when that person realizes all they want to do is be able to look at their child...and there they are. Those glorious photos. Now I just have to put this into action. The site above has a place where they list photographers and their locations, there is also an organization call Now I Lay Me Down To Sleep that offers the same service, just go to google to find them and they have the same kind of info for their photographers.

This is my passion and I will make it a reality eventually.

Rest in peace my angel.

Tattoo complete

I had my tattoo for Ireland done a couple weeks, I put photo's up on my other blog but forgot to put them up here. there is a link on the right side that will take you to my photo blog if you want to see it finished.