Saturday, December 29, 2012
The "new year". Everyone makes resolutions and thinks about what may come. I don't put much thought into that. To me it's just another flip of the calendar. If I'm going to think about life and resolutions and what changes I might want to make I'll do it when I feel there is a reason to do it in my life. Birthdays seem like a good time for that. Or the coming of a school year. January just feels like everything is already half started, why would I want to start new? If it's a big deal to you, then I hope you have a great new years eve, and that you are able to set your sights in 2013 for whatever you may be reaching for. For me, 2013 is just another year, waiting to see if the good will out weigh the bad...lets hope so.
Thursday, November 15, 2012
I am hoping to start using this blog to track my journey through trying to get memory boxes into the hospital for families who lose babies. I haven't done a lot of work on it lately, I had sent some emails but never heard back. I think it may be something that is put off until December, or maybe even after christmas. I've got a table in a craft fair on December 1st so I'm trying to get stuff together for that and hopefully it will go well.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
I come to you, my heart in my hands, broke into pieces. Sharp, jagged shards like glass I struggle to put back together. Just as my heart takes shape and starts to come together, you slip and shatter it over again. I am sliced to ribbons, bleeding crimson, burning pain, yet I hold tighter to the fragments. There must be a way to mend it, to make it better again. To stop the searing pain and have it only be a memory.
Monday, April 9, 2012
Garry has work, there's just not much of it yet. He's doing flagging (traffic control), but he's at the bottom of the list so it's just waiting it out until he can climb up the ladder to full time.
Now I have to decide if I try to find work, which means daycare for Scarlet and possibly daycare the other kids depending on what kind of hours I find at a job. Or do I go back to school to look at something different. I've been contemplating doing a counselling course, specifically grief counselling. I would love to find a way to give back to others going thru grief, mainly parents who've lost children. I still want to do my photography and focus on doing that as much as I can becuz I really do love it. I still want to get involved in the hospital in some way to help parents deal with losing a baby, at any stage in pregnancy. I still have issues holding me back from looking into this as I don't know if I'm ready to go thru the steps that it will take for that. Some day I know I will, I just need to work myself up to that.
My mind is still failing me. My memory seems to be non-existent. I can't remember the simplest thing, even if I write them down. My medication is crap, but it's free so can't really complain much at this point.
I'm hoping in the next month things will work themselves out somewhat and we can find a place to be home for now and get settled into this new life.
Tuesday, February 28, 2012
My husband took a traffic control course (flagging) and even tho we heard many places were hiring he didn't hear back. Things were tight, and finally he got a call and he's been working full time since. Flagging is unpredictable so it could change at any time but we'll take what we can get. There been a lot of other small ups and downs...downs that on top of already stressful situation felt crushing but we're working them out.
We're considering moving back to our home town, there's a whole other stress. Finding a job, finding a place to live, moving the kids to a new school, I would probably have to find a job which would mean finding a new daycare for Scarlet. All of that puts that weight back on chest and I feel like I can't breathe, but that is where I really want to be so we'll see what we can do.
I'm on a new medication and hoping I can get some of my energy back and start creating again. Soon, hopefully soon.