Heading into 2013

 I find myself a little started to look at Ireland tickers on my blog and see that she has been gone for 3 years, 9 months...how can I be heading towards her 4th birthday already.  Her birthday this year was such a blur, we were in such a disastrous place in life with moving and such that I just felt I had to energy to give.  Of course that made me feel guilty but I've been too tired to even do much of that this year.  2012.  Wow.  What a shitty year.  Things tanked big time for me this year.  It's hard to top the year that your baby dies, but this came close.   My children are healthy so of course that is all that matters, everything I can get through, I just wish I wasn't in such a struggle.

  The "new year".  Everyone makes resolutions and thinks about what may come.  I don't put much thought into that.  To me it's just another flip of the calendar.  If I'm going to think about life and resolutions and what changes I might want to make I'll do it when I feel there is a reason to do it in my life.  Birthdays seem like a good time for that.  Or the coming of a school year.  January just feels like everything is already half started, why would I want to start new?   If it's a big deal to you, then I hope you have a great new years eve, and that you are able to set your sights in 2013 for whatever you may be reaching for.  For me, 2013 is just another year, waiting to see if the good will out weigh the bad...lets hope so.


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